problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
