dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
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Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
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He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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