I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
