i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
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thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
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wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not