Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
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She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
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Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.