It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.