I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
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if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
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I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.