Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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