I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
