Sponge bath it is.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize