After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize