oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
