I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize