Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize