Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize