sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
