Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
