Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize