I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Congratulations! We have a period
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