Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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