he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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