I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize