There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
