I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
