If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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