My room smells like vodka and shame
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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