I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
