my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Your penis caused this!
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