I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
barbara walters just said penis...
I am midnight drunk by noon
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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