so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
