Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
