I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Mom said you looked used
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
