you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
