did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
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Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
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I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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