Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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