I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He better not be in your backpack
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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