my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize