Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude i'm inner monologue high
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
