I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Shame - the story of my life.
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