we made out on top of his cat.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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