Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
