I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
