1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i think my tv is drunk
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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