Can i not drive my cunt home
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize