i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
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ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
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he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..