Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
