yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We're too hungover to prance.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up