I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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