I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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