He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
