I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
That's when you crack a 10am beer
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
