you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
