I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she pinky promised me she was 18
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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