Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
