Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize