wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
