I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.