what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard