He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day