Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
