Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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