Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
